Ethnic
The Webmaster
Ethnic

Once upon a time there was a Religious Scientist who was feeling very
challenged in her life. She was feeling lonely and troubled and generally
upset. She had problems with her house and with her job and no love life to
speak of. She picked up the Journal and she read about the internet and how
so many people were having so much fun on the web. She signed on that night
and began to look around. At first she went to the romance chatrooms but
all the people there were looking for romance and she thought, “I’m a
Religious Scientist and I want a spiritual man.” So she went to the
Religious Chatrooms and was almost about to give up because of all the
aggravating fundamentalists of various types and then she saw a room that
simply said: “Webmaster’s chat” and went into that one and she found all
these people listening and chatting with a webmaster about life and love.
She instant messaged another person in the chat room who had a nice profile
and that person said: “I come here quite often, and I must say that
following the webmaster’s advice has really helped me change my life.” She
thought: “hmmmm” and the webmaster said: “meditate every day, focus your
attention on the truth of your divineunity and all will be well. Use all
the spiritual tools and you will evince your personal Divinity” She started
doing that, using all the tools she had learned in foundations classes and
even using Right Speech and saying only nice things about other people and
about life even in the face of all her challenges and soon everything got
better. Her life was great. She stopped meditating, stopped using those
tools and everything was great. For a while.Then things got all challenging
again and she was wondering what to do? She was watching the TV, the war on
Iraq and then there was a commercial for the psychic hotline. She thought,
that’s it. I will call the hotline and they will help me. So she called up
and a man answered. “Hello, psychic hotline, can I help you.” And she
thought, that’s odd it’s supposed to be a woman from the Carribean. But she
said: “Yes, I have been having so many challenges lately. I am so upset and
worried and I feel lonely and I don’t know what to do, what can I do?” And
the psychic said: “Just a moment, let me consult the akhashic records and
then through this I can help you to see what you must do.” So she waited a
moment, and soon a moment turned in 30 minutes or so and she thought ‘at
2.99 a minute, this is a long moment.” Suddenly he was there: “I can see
clearly that what you need to do is to make sure that you make the ‘master
at home in your home.’ is there anything else that I can help you with?”
She said no thank you and hung up a bit peeved that she had just spent $100
on a psychic hotline. But she thought about it. She thought there is a
reason for everything and I am a Religious Scientist, I must know the
meaning of this. It is in me right now. And she thought about it. “Do I
know any masters? Maybe the minister, maybe the practitioner.” Yes. She
thought about it, but the circle supper wasn’t going to be at her house. So
she thought harder and suddenly she remembered the Webmaster. So she jumped
on the web and went to the website where she found the chatroom and there
was only a webpage that said: “Namaste, the webmaster is on a book tour.
Bless you for coming here. Use all the tools and know you are in
DivineUnity right now” And she thought “oooo, don’t you know, right when
you need him, he isn’t there.” But she noticed a hyperlink that said tour
schedule, she clicked on it and saw that the Webmaster would be in her town
the very next day. The next day she went to the book signing and she was so
moved by the book signing she knew what to do she wrote a note with her
address and phone number and directions to her house with an invitation to a
vegetarian meal. She then put in her book and went through the line and
while he was signing the book, she pointed to the note and said, “I am so
happy you are here. I am in your chatroom very often and I would be so
honored if you would be my guest tonite for dinner.” He looked up with a
kind smile and said: “You are so kind, I don’t have any plans so I would be
delighted to come.” She felt very excited and picked up the book and said:
“I will go prepare the meal” and rushed out to Wild Oats and bought the best
of everything, the best chocolate cake, the best organic vegetables and tofu
and even though she was an AA member, she bought the best wine. She bought
french wine even though she had previously been angry with the French for
not supporting America. And she rushed home and cooked everything perfectly
and was looking at the table and realized: “I don’t have a gift to give to
the master, what will I do.” But she remembered that he didn’t have a
jacket on, and she had a loved unisex jacket that anyone with good taste
would like. So she went to her closet and took it out and put it next to
the door to present to him as he left into the cool night air. Then she
went and sat at the table and the clock started ticking and soon there was
knock at the door. She rushed to the door, threw it open to welcome the
master and it was her neighbor: the unemployed antiwar protester. She
thought: “I have to get him out of here before the master comes.” But she
said: “Hello, what can I do for you?” And her neighbor said, “I was passing
by and I saw you sitting at the table alone and looking a bit worried, and I
realized that I was worried to and I hadn’t eaten all day. I am starving.”
She looked at the man and he looked so hungry that her compassion was
awakened and she offered him a place at the table and pretty soon he had
eaten all the food she had cooked for the master and he gave her a big hug
and said: “you are the best neighbor in the whole world. I am so happy you
are in my life.” And then he went home and she thought: “I have no food to
serve the master, what will I do?” But she realized she had the wine and
that they could split the wine together and it would be a great evening.
She then heard a knock at the door and she threw it open to welcome the
handsome master into her home. But it wasn’t the master, it was her
neighbor from across the street who was always inviting her to go to the
fundamentalist church up the road. Her neighbor looked at her and said: “I
am so worried, I am torn up inside, my son is in this war and I am worried
he might get hurt, I have been reading the bible all day and all I find are
passages about war and I don’t know what to do. The Lord knows I am at the
end of my rope.” She thought: “She’s doing those negative affirmations
again and I know she’s gonna thump that bible.” But then she saw the pain
in the woman’s face and the fear and invited her in and the sat at the
kitchen table while the woman talked about armagedon and drank the wine.
When the wine was done. The woman gave her a big hug and said: “you know,
you are the best neighbor in the whole world, even if you do go that
scientology church. You are blessed by Christ. Thank you, thank you.” And
went home. She sat there and thought: “Scientology, they never get it
right. I should join a Unity Church but then they will think I am a
Unitarian and I might run into my war protester neighbor.” She was in a
quandary, she had no more food, no more wine and there was a knock at the
door and she went to the door wondering what how she would feed the master.
She opened the door up with an excuse on her lips and it wasn’t the master
at all, it was the single mother’s little girl from next door. “I lost my
key and I can’t get into the house and my mom is still at work. I am cold.
Can I stay with you, till my mom get’s off her late shift at her second
job?” And she looked at the little girl and her heart opened right up and
she said: “Don’t you have a warm coat?” And the little girl said: “All my
winter clothes were in the trailer when it burned up.” Immediately she
grabbed the coat next to the door and gave it to the girl and said this is
for you, so that you will have a warm coat to wear and brought the little
girl in and soon fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. She had no
dreams at all. Then she woke up and she was a bit hungover and she felt bad
and angry at the master for not showing up. She rushed to the computer and
logged on and went to the chatroom to get his email address and write him
and tell him how rude he was and how he couldn’t be a master at all. But
the chatroom was open and he was there. She said: “Where were you?” He
said: “I was looking for you.” “But you never came. I gave your food to my
hungry neighbor the long haired war protester.” “I came here to find you.”
“But you knew I was cooking a meal for you, and I bought the best wine and I
drank it with my bible thumping fundamentalist neighbor.” “I wanted to come
but...” “No buts, I even had a coat for you but I gave it to the neighbor
girl because she was cold. and as for this book of yours...” She opened the
book up to the dedication he had written to her. She was really going to
let him have it, and out fell her note. And instead of writing what she was
thinking, she suddenly realized that she never gave it to him and she felt
bad and said: “I am so sorry....” but this time he stopped her by writing:
“You are so wonderful. You know my book better than anyone. You are loving
and kind, you do your meditations and you treat your neighbors with kindness
even when they are different from you. I am so proud of you. I wanted to
say that you forgot to give me directions or your phone number but I am so
happy that you had this evening. You must have felt so good.” She didn’t
know what to think, or to say, but she know what to do. She wrote “thank
you, have to go.” She signed off and went to the kitchen and opened the
fridge and found the chocolate cake which she had gotten for the master and
forgot all about and she made herself a coffee and enjoyed a piece of the
cake and then meditated and resolved to always live wholly in the moment and
not to rush through life or forget the cake in the fridge for the little girl.

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